Patience: The IG Paradigm

imagesGood Evening to all you wonderful people out there, living chaotic lives which you ever so desperately try to structure

Hello to the women out there whose hearts were given away at dinner

What’s up to boys acting like pros but constantly exposing themselves as beginners

I say good evening to each and every one of you looking for love and to each one of you feeling betrayed by the various institutions you ever so desperately longed to join. I have very little to say to those with rings on: they’re doing far better than me, simply because they had the conviction to pick a person to spend their life with and did something about it. Regardless of whether you ended up a divorcee (forgive the lack of the accent aigu, the keyboard and I are at odds these days), I commend your ability to act on your impulses (after significant thought has turned them to strategic decisions), pair them with discipline (because you must have plenty of that to manage yourself and another person) and finally your forgiving heart (for not murdering or leaving your partner after you caught them straying, or killing them over more minor irritations and general emotional maladies which plague those within relationships).

I have decided I desire to one day join this class of everyday heroes: see, I am no longer as jaded by the experiences I have gained from the “dating game”  and this is not due to a desire to marry the fictional character ( I say this as my perception of the people around me deviates quite intensely from who people tend to attempt to present over a time span: ultimately resulting in a fictional character as the go-between) I am currently infatuated with. I want to be married to truly acquire patience, understanding, discipline and selflessness. I am beginning to think, more and more, that the reason why these beautiful character traits and these old school institutions are disappearing are tied to the “IG” tendencies we are surrounded by. I do not mean the social network, I mean Instant Gratification. This is the disease that plagues us, the epidemic that has been filtered into daily life and has jumped the pace and pressure in our lives up by a thousand notches.

So now imagine if I said IG, FB and all the other acronyms had contributed to this degeneration? The question would have to be: How does he blame instant messaging and social media for something so unrelated to the institution of marriage? Well mainly by admitting that the ways of social media have helped lessen the integrity of the social fabric which each and every one of us is swaddled in. We grew up without having to exercise much patience, in fact the older we get the faster our transactions become, so why on earth would we need any patience? And as a result we haven’t the patience to get to know our partners anymore, we haven’t got the patience to wait for letters declaring our interest in a female to be delivered and most of all we haven’t got the time to waste writing one or waiting for a reply. We truly lack patience and by the same sad extension of ideas that means we have pretty much lost romance.

When, guys, was the last time you took a woman to coffee rather than drinks simply because you wanted to see her and chat and enjoy her company without any expectation you might get to tap in the immediate future? Ladies when was the last time a man truly chased you? I’m not talking about flattery and a date or two; I’m not talking about a drink and longing stares; I mean when was the last time a man cooked you a meal or packed you a picnic and made you feel loved through all the little things?

I think though the best question is, how many of us have the time or the patience for such things any more? Are we not so consumed by the 9-5 that we get home too exhausted to even begin focusing on something other than ourselves, before attempting to put something that can just barely qualify as food on the table and giving those around us the bare minimum amount of attention they need to know we are even there… well that is all before we either slink into studies to finish the fiscal projections, complete the near overdue academic assignments or maybe climb the, everlastingly long, staircase, standing between you and the bed, in order to catch the first real shut-eye you’ve seen in weeks. Whose lives are these? Who ever dreamt of being chained to a desk, driving the corporate machine from a dead end job? Who ever wanted not to be free to attend ballet recitals, their daughters and sons had been training for all year? Who ever wanted the strain of their absence to break their relationship? Very few of us can answer the in the affirmative, however, the capitalist dream requires this of us, social media spurs us forwards on this materialistic dream chase; using the very things we are likely to lose as the motivation for our progress down that very road. We seek to provide an amazing standard of living for our loved ones yet it ultimately results in us balancing on a knife’s edge, hardly living, merely existing. For what? to reach forty and suffer a midlife crisis after a panic attack brought on by an existential episode and look back at all you’ve done and realize you missed your children growing up?

I think ultimately what I mean to say is, nothing is worth missing the moments that count, no amount of life experience should spoil your prospects for the future, and impatience and other such vices are never worth their negative effects. So then why do we let such be part of our social fabric? Why do we let ourselves get sucked into a lifestyle we cannot afford to try live with our short life spans? I think I want to reach ninety knowing the person I love is next to me and we lived full lives and our children had all that they needed, even if we weren’t the most wealthy family (as long as we didn’t struggle too much, poverty is another struggle altogether).

Grab Each Every Moment


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