Waking Nightmare (21/3/11)

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I used to dream of the day when, I’d be bigger, faster and stronger than you. Yet I find myself believing this truth; you who manipulated me, hurt me and hurled abuse…Turn out to be a coward, attempting to avoid the scenic route. Journey cut short, and epiphanies unknown. But now I lie awake in the comfort of your former home. Your bed, your covers yet therein lies me. But sumtimes it’s the inside of your coffin, I see. You ran riot with choas as your only friend. And so I cling to order with lines and borders drawn, but my nature shines through and choas comes knocking, But I always let it in which is what I find most shocking. I detestd you with every fibre of my being… until you were gone, with the wind, unseen. Pain tormented all; all except for me. She cries her tears yet emotion plagued me. Yet, not even when I spoke at your burial were they seen. I looked you in the eye with my usual cold look, my sudden realization is that I loved you. My entire world shook: but I refuse to see your life and death as a tragedy which is why I celebrate Your day with the family. Calculating I aspired to, manipulative but you were also kinda cool. Loved to have fun and fun loved having you, but I really fucking despised that attitude. Don’t think that I’m mad at you, but it’s me and you, who clearly understand this, dude. I smile at the mention of your name, but never reach my hand out to you. Next time I’m going to be faster dude, you’ll have no clue who heaven sent after you! I’m calling this a head start, because even in death I aim at catching up to you.

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